Wednesday, August 07, 2019

The Truth about Waiting for True Love and Getting Married (Dating in Your 30’s and Over)

Hello! Welcome back to my blog! In this post I’m going to discuss the truth about “waiting” until you're older to find true love. As a single girl approaching age thirty soon, I’ve heard this overly-repetitive, weary advice so many times. Unfortunately, I did believe it somewhat when I was younger. Many women (and men) do not realize there’s a price to pay of waiting around for Mr. Right or Ms. Right in the long run. 

We all hear the old modern saying. We hear it after we state that we’re single and looking. The saying goes something like this: “what’s the rush…you have time”. This may be among the biggest lies in modern dating. Little do many people realize that this mentality about dating actually causes a delay in finding a good quality man or woman for a relationship. I like to say the best saying is “the early bird gets the worm!” It doesn’t mean you need to rush commitment, but instead don’t waste your precious time thinking love will be easier later in life.

As we grow older dating gets tougher and becomes more of a challenge. The dating pool shrinks down to players, casual daters, nit-pickers and newly divorced folks who have a little bitterness to them. Good quality people are hard to come by. You start to question your sanity. 

We spend our twenties having fun, building careers, finding the perfect job and traveling. Modern society does not encourage the traditional value of finding a life partner at an early age anymore. Liberal progressiveness encourages neglecting the creation of family for the pursuit of casual sex. We are taught that it’s okay to delay relationships until we’re much older and get shamed for wanting a relationship and marriage. It can be true that marriage lasts longer as we marry late in life due to maturity – however; it becomes a challenge finding the perfect life partner. Perfect? Forget about it!

Little do people realize that the longer we hold out, the more time is wasted on finding a quality person.  Below are a few truths about “waiting” for love and marriage later in life. As a woman, I can only give the perspective of a female in the dating world.

Truth #1: Ages 28 – 33 is an awkward stage of dating, especially for women. This is because we’re caught in between either dating an older guy or younger guy. Most women around this age are looking to settle down. Dating a younger guy may come with the challenge of not being ready to provide just yet or lack of maturity. An older man may want a younger girl or a woman around his age.

Truth #2: Beauty does fade. Luckily, I’m blessed with wonderful genes of looking youthful. Trust me, I used to hate it when I was younger but now I embrace it. A woman in her forties or fifties may not feel as attractive as a younger girl in her twenties and thirties. In reality, a majority of older men prefer a younger woman who has an attractive appeal and body. An older woman must keep up her looks and body in competition of younger women.

Truth #3: You will run into a lot of players and casual daters, especially in your thirties. Because a majority of people get married in their twenties, divorce and break ups happen in their thirties. Because a man feels he’s already had a long term relationship or marriage, he considers himself “free” again to play the field and feel single again without being attached to another relationship. Because of this, they feel they have time to play the field and delay commitment in order to enjoy their singlehood again. Here you are dating them, looking for commitment – but they only play you and waste your time. In actuality, they don’t have much time in the casual department. Casual dating is a huge time waster and is not encouraged in scripture.

Truth #4: You will deal with a lot of nit-pickers. Yes these guys will literally pick you out ‘til there’s nothing left. You now understand why they are single! It’s understandable at the same time because as we grow we absorb into our habits and ways of thinking and we wish to find someone who can complement ourselves. But you may literally come across someone who will reject you for not liking their favorite food. Be prepared. 

Truth #5: Prepare to become a stepmother or stepfather. As mentioned previously, many people divorce in their thirties. You will meet a lot of folks who are single parents. This is ultimately your choice to date someone who already has kids, but I'm writing this as a heads-up.

There are lots of other truths to be aware of in the older dating scene. It’s best to raise our daughters and encourage younger ladies to find commitment at an earlier age and to also learn the responsibilities and values of a relationship. 

That's all for this blog post. Thanks for reading and be sure to follow the blog for more. Until next time, bye!

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