Monday, September 30, 2019

How to Date in the Modern World as a Traditional Man or Woman

Ghosting, bread crumbing, orbiting, DM sliding, bird boxing and swiping. This description may sound like something straight out of a haunted house that’s now been renovated as a café shop with peculiar decor. In actuality, it’s neither a haunted house nor a café shop. It’s in fact the dating trends of the current modern times. If we throw “Netflix and chill” in there maybe it’ll sound more comfortable. Actually not so comfortable. It’s still scary!

Dating in the modern world can be tough, especially for the traditional person. It’s even more of a challenge if you’re shy and not good with socializing. Due to progressive modernism, traditional values of dating and relationships are now literally something of the past. Traditional dating values are not encouraged and practiced much anymore in the Western world and this causes a lot of confusion, loss and an odd way of dating in today’s culture.  

Our modern culture values over-sexualization especially in dating world. Many women who are under the influence of feminism seek out masculine traits in dating and thus engage in casual sexuality. This energy twitch results in men assuming most women are sexually available without commitment. The dating world is edgy with random hook-ups – or sexual encounters. There are a lot more players out there who believe they have lots of time to play the field before settling down and committing to an everlasting, loving relationship. Little do they know the playing field becomes very slim as we get older. (Click here to read how disastrous dating becomes as we get older in this generation.)

Hang on! There’s still hope in the dating world! There are many traditional folks out there who embrace traditional values in dating and relationships but they are a challenge to find. Not everyone is about sending an unsolicited “pic” late at night. The best advice is to avoid the “disgust” that comes with the modern dating world and really seek out another conservative person.  I will share another blog post on traditional dating values from the vintage times soon. But for now, I have a list of how to find your true love in the midst of the crazy dating world listed below.

1. Set Your Intention – you want to state what you are seeking in a relationship in a pleasant, reasonable way. You want to let the person you’re dating know commitment, marriage and family is something you’d like in your future. Try not to be overbearing of course! Let them know what your intention is right away. Usually commitment and the idea of marriage scare off most players and time-wasters.

2. Align Your Values – You want to become familiar with the person’s values. I usually drop slight hints my traditional persona. You can talk and ask questions about your views on certain topics. It doesn’t have to become a political debate, but ask simple questions or observe their values.

3. Don’t Rush to Bed – Just save it ‘til commitment and marriage! With the sex-crazed culture that’s occurring there are many folks out there that literally pretend to date just to get a spot in your bed and then reject you afterwards. 

4. Observe their Efforts – Are they putting in much effort obtaining you? Is the man you’re dating really pursuing you? Is the woman you like fully engaging and accepting you? If it feels you’re giving more than receiving, it may be a red flag that the person may not be entirely interested in dating you.

5. Expect Rejection – As a traditional person we’re going to experience rejection at some point. We must face it. The modern culture doesn’t call for traditional living or values anymore because it doesn’t align with modern mindsets. Being traditional is extremely unfamiliar to some individuals and they feel comfortable with liberal-like thinking. I know rejection can be unbearable, and I will be sharing a new blog post in the near future on how to handle rejection.

6. Don’t Stay in No Man’s Land – “No Man’s Land” refers to the space between a friendship and commitment. The “relationship” sort of stays unmoving without any type of commitment happening except benefits. A lot of people end up in this zone due to loneliness, boredom or fear of being single. So they take whatever comes along including no-strings-attached type of deal and are aware of how much time this wastes.

The significant key in dating in the modern world is to avoid wasting time and to really acknowledge what you want within a relationship. You must catch on early in the relationship of how you two align together.

Best wishes! xoxo

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